In a past newsletter, I published an
engineering review of why it was impossible for Santa to deliver presents
over the course of one night. To be
fair we have a rebuttal from North Carolina State
University. Dr. Larry Silverberg, professor of
mechanical and aerospace engineering, explains the science and engineering
principles that could allow the Jolly Old Elf to pull off the magical
feat.
Santa may appear to be technologically
challenged, but that's merely a ruse. He and his North Pole elves have a lot
going on under their funny-looking hats. Advanced knowledge of
electromagnetic waves, the space/time continuum, nanotechnology, genetic
engineering and computer science are all at their command.
Mr. Claus has a pipeline to
children's thoughts by combining the technologies of cell phones
and EKGs. A sophisticated signal processing system gives Santa clues on
who wants what, where children live, and even who's been bad or good. All
this information is processed with a GPS-enabled onboard sleigh guidance
system, programmed with the most efficient delivery route.
Traveling 200 million square miles with
stops in 80 million homes in one night is simply a matter of knowledge of
the space/time continuum to form what Silverberg calls "relativity
clouds." Santa knows that time can be stretched,
that space can be squeezed and that light can be bent," Silverberg says.
"Relativity clouds are controllable domains - rips in time - that allow him
months to deliver presents while only a few minutes pass on Earth. The
presents are truly delivered in a wink of an eye."
His reindeer - genetically bred to fly,
balance on rooftops and see well in the dark - don't actually pull a sleigh
loaded down with toys. Instead, each house acts as Santa's
workshop where he can nano-fabricate toys inside the children's homes. The
presents are grown on the spot - atom by atom - toys out of snow and soot,
much like DNA can command the growth of organic material into body
parts.
"This is our vision of Santa's delivery
method, given the human, physical and engineering constraints we face
today," Silverberg says. "Children shouldn't put too much credence in the
opinions of those who say it's not possible to deliver presents all over the
world in one night. It is possible, and it's based on real
science."
That's our story and we're sticking to
it!
So often, with our rush to get
answers and move our projects ahead, we can forget that the people around us
are willing to help. We, at BEI, pride ourselves on being helpful
problem-solvers and have a variety of services that you can use to get
your job done. Here are a few examples of where we can be of
assistance.
